Make New Friends, But Keep the Old

I mentioned in a previous post that I recently hooked up with a very dear, almost life-long friend. My friend and I met as freshmen in high school.  We took classes together, partied together, traveled together and even lived together (rather peacefully, in fact) in an apartment until I lost my job and had to relocate to South Carolina for a new job. My friend visited me in South Carolina, was in my wedding and visited me in the hospital when I had my first baby.  When my husband worked nights and weekends while my first-born was young, she kept me company and provided much-needed “adult” conversation. 

Then my husband’s schedule changed and he was home at night and on the weekends.  I had another baby.  then dance lessons, soccer practice, life as a wife and mom took over.  Meanwhile, my friend advanced in her career and started traveling the globe on incentive trips.  She even invited me to go on one with her — all expenses paid for a week in Scotland.  I really wanted to go, but my “babies” were 6 and 3, and I couldn’t bear to leave them for that long. 

We made the effort to get together several times a year, then once or twice a year.  Eventually, we got to the point where we’d only see each other once a year.  We’d lament this fact every time we’d hook up because we always had so much fun.  We laugh about old memories and how no matter how much time passes, we’re still basically the same people.  We were both raised by cops, thus we’re both terrible cynics.  (really, NOTHING good happens after midnight!) We agree on things like crime and punishment. We both love strappy sandals, but think you MUST have painted toenails to wear strappy sandals. You know — all the important stuff.

I used to get upset that we didn’t see each other more often, and my friend would console me by saying that her mom told her this would happen. She said that friends “drift” some during the  childbearing/childrearing years, particularly if they don’t both go through those years at the same time.  Her mom said that you get so busy during those years that the only friends you have time for are the ones who have kids the same ages as yours and/or kids who are involved in the same activities.  But, her mom concluded (all of this from experience) that once you get those kids raised, you gravitate back to those “old” friends because “they knew you when” — and there is simply no replacement for that intimate knowledge. 

As my friend and I sat at the water park and watched my baby play, I came to the conclusion that her mom’s predictions will prove to be true.  In the meantime, we’ll cherish these few get-togethers and do what we always do.  We laughed at some of the antics of our youth, and my friend promised to pray that my own children don’t try half the stuff we tried. We laughed even harder at the minor (and sometime not so minor) dysfunctions in our families of origin. We talked about whether she might ever get married, and if not, will she try to have a baby without a husband.  She shared her exciting stories of global travel with me, and I shared stories of being a mom to a teenager, a pre-teen and baby all at once. And we talked about those years in the future when we can get together more often, maybe even travel together again. 

I’m very thankful that we make the effort to stay in touch, even if our encounters are few and far between.  I know I’ll be glad when I’m old and she and I are attending Red Hat Ladies luncheons, or we’re sunning our wrinkled old bodies on a beach somewhere.

My Favorite Childproof Gadget

My baby is almost 10 months and is crawling all over the place.  We have a finished basement, and my two older children cannot remember to close the basement door.  I won’t be able to change that fact no matter how much I nag. (The first step is acceptance.)

When my oldest was a baby, we lived in another home with an unfinished basement.  While there weren’t other children around to forget to close the basement door, the fall would’ve been down wooden steps to a concrete floor.  The thought of that door being left open caused me to break out in a cold sweat.  So, I searched until I found a baby proofing gadget to fit my needs — something that would automatically close that door.  It did the trick and I loved it, but we left it behind when we moved.  I didn’t even know what it was called.  A few days ago, I did a Google search for “child safety door closer” and I found it — the same gadget  that I had before.  It arrived today and I’m so pleased.  My husband will be installing it tonight.

Here is my other favorite baby proofing tool.  I’ve had these on my pantry doors since my 10-year-old son was 2.  I still use them to “lock” the pantry and “announce” that it’s closed because I’m fixing dinner!

Now, I’ve got to start baby proofing the rest of the house.  Do you have any favorite products or suggestions for things like electrical cords, fireplaces, drawers that might smash little fingers, etc.?

Blueseventy Swimsuit (or maybe Sectional Cut?) Causes Stir

UPDATED: 5/29/09 – I’ve updated this post regarding the new FINA ruling here.

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So, my daughter got her sectional cut, which I, wrote about here.  We’re very excited.  Apparently, however, some people are not.

We bought DD a new swimsuit right before the MegaZones swim meet in Indianapolis two weeks ago.  The suit, a Blueseventy, meets all the guidelines for legal competition. The suit doesn’t use neoprene or other buoyant material like a wet suit.   In fact, the suit is approved by FINA, which is the international governing body of swimming, diving, water polo, synchornized swimming and open water swimming. Blueseventy even provides a copy of the letter from FINA approving this suit for competition. 

Do we think that the suit helped her get her sectional cut?  Yes.  It helped her mental game, for sure.  Did it give her a competitive edge — maybe. Michael Phelps certainly believes in his Speedo LZR, as do the other athletes setting world records in the high-tech suits.  But, the suit didn’t win the gold medals.  And my DD’s suit didn’t get her the sectional cut.  Her hard work in and out of the pool, her amazing coaches and her sheer determination got her the sectional cut.  Plus, she was disappointed with her performance at a meet two weeks before Megazones and she “had something to prove.”  That is often when she swims her best.

Unfortunately, some members of our swim team (and their parents, for heaven’s sake) made a stink about my daughter and another one of our swimmers wearing the suits and getting their cuts. There was texting. There were phone calls.  There were emails. There were unkind conversations at parties.  Being a temperamental type, I’m prone to “go off” in these situations.  Mess with me — not wise.  Mess with MY CHILD — WATCH OUT.  But, I’m maturing.  I decided to give it a few days to cool off  (thus, this post not being written until two weeks after DD getting her cut).  Cooling off wasn’t easy because so many people are so happy to tell you the unkind things being said and written about you by your detractors.  I decided to take the approach that if you give these type of people enough rope, they will hang themselves.  I understand when people harbor jealousies.  It’s hard when someone else achieves something that you also want to acheive, especially when it appears that you’re working just as hard.  What I don’t understand is how adults, who are supposed to set the example, behave in such a petty fashion.

Thankfully, our daughter feels validated. With our swim club, a sectional cut CAN mean a move from our National Prep swim group to our National swim group.  It doesn’t necessarily mean a move up — it’s a decision made by our National Prep and National coaches.  We found out last night that she and the other swimmer who got the cut will move up to National for the next three weeks to see if they can handle the training.  If not, they’ll probably split their time between the two groups until they’re ready.  Sounds reasonable to me. 

Admittedly, I was tempted to text, email and call the people who were the main culprits in our “controversy,”  but I decided to be a grownup. It wasn’t as fun, but I sleep better when I behave.  Plus, I’ve got my blog.

Sectional Cut — Megazones in Indianapolis

Swimming the 100 Back at Megazones

Whoo hoo!!  My daughter got her sectional cut at Megazones in Indianapolis in the 100 back, going a 1:11:74.  We are so excited.  Being that this is our first sectional cut, I’m not going to try to explain it because I will look like the “newbie” swim mom that I am (even though she’s been swimming competitively since she was 6 and now she’s 13).  I wrote about her getting her zone cut here, and her sectional cut is an even bigger deal.  I’ll write about “the suit” — a Blueseventy Nero Comp racing suit — in another post.  But here, I just want to say, “Congratulations Girlie (our nickname for her at times).  Mom and Dad are very proud of you.“

New Convertible Car seat

I broke down this month and acknowledged that my baby is very close to being too big for her infant car seat.  But, she’s still a few months away from her first birthday and at least three pounds shy of the 20-pound forward-facing position.  So, I started checking into convertible car seats.

Of course, I visited one of my favorite stores, Kangaroo Kids, and talked with the owner and another Mom there.  They turned me onto Britax, the Marathon model specifically, which I hadn’t heard of when my older kids were babies.  They said this car seat has one of the highest safety ratings, as well as some kind of patented side-impact system.  Plus, it has a cool latch system that makes installation very easy, a unique tether system that makes it seem more stable and secure and some very handy velcro strips that keep those pesky straps out of the way when you’re trying to put the baby in the seat.  But, the price tag on the different models at Kangaroo Kids started at $275.  Ouch.

When I got home, I started researching the Britax car seats online and here is one of the more informative sites I found.

And here is the site where I found the car seat on sale with free shipping for $219. 

My new Britax Marathon carseat

The $219 is only good on some styles.  Although, I ordered one of the “on sale” styles, it was out of stock.  I got a personal phone call from Traveling Tikes, and the salesclerk offered me another option for the same price.  I chose the denim, which is the one I really wanted, anyway. Yea. 

It arrived in about a week via UPS, and it really was easy to install.  The tether is cool and the whole seat seems very solid.  It is rather large, so I had to move my baby’s position in the van from behind the driver’s seat to behind the passenger seat so that my husband can still drive the van without his knees being on the dash.  I think my van, a Kia Sedona, is pretty small, so this might not be a problem in other vehicle models.

Overall, I’m rather pleased with my purchase.  Now, I just need to buy a used model or a cheaper one for my husband’s car as a backup. Dang these babies are expensive.

My new seat installed

Latch system hanging from side

Cool velcro strips keep straps out of the way while you place baby in seat

See the tether -- it attaches to the base of the seat in front of it.