Taking Wins Where You Can Get Them

My 15-year-old daughter is slowly, but surely, coming out of her swimming slump. She returned from a high-altitude training trip in Arizona last Sunday and is swimming in the Parkway Summer Sizzler swim meet this weekend. Like many of her teammates, she’s not tapered and really tired from the training trip, but her coach saw definite improvements in her stroke so far at the meet this weekend.

I can’t tell whether her stroke is good or bad because I’m not a swimmer. Like I told her coach, she looks perfect to me all the time.  And the poor thing added 57 seconds in mile the first day of the meet. That wasn’t fun, but true to her nature, my girl kept her chin up and remained positive. She has the utmost faith that what her coaches keep telling her is true. So, she returned to the meet on Saturday and had a couple of good swims. In fact, she was only 8 seconds off her best time in the 800 free, and being in a practice suit, untapered, we considered that a WIN!

The coach says this shows good body position. I say it's a cool picture.

Getting feedback from coaches after a race.

  

Her backstroke is fun to photograph, and is hopefully coming back, too.

She doesn't swim butterfly often b/c it's not her stroke, but I love to get pictures when she does.

And here is her slowly but surely improving backstroke start. Yea! We see progress.

Why blog?

As a Mom, I am seldom able to complete a sentence without being interrupted. Heck — I’m seldom able to complete a thought without being interrupted. Even when I’m working (I work from home part-time as a freelance writer), I’m often asked, “Mom, what’s for dinner?” or “Mom, can you take me to swim practice,” or “Michelle, do you know where the checkbook is?” or “Michelle, can you drop my stuff off at that dry cleaners?”

I’m very good at multi-tasking. I’m a woman who has cooked hamburger while nursing a baby while talking on the phone. No lie. It’s not safe, and I don’t recommend it, but I’ve done it. I am not, however, good at having a complete thought or saying a complete sentence while being constantly interrupted. In fact, having my thoughts and words interrupted makes me a little crabby sometimes.

That’s probably why I so appreciated this quote that my friend sent me yesterday:

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Supporting My Frustrated Swimmer

I’ve been a little hesitant to write this post because a Mom blogger always needs to be mindful of the privacy rights of her children. However, my teenage daughter has shared her swimming struggles somewhat publicly lately, and I thought if it would help another swimmer or another parent, then maybe it would be a good thing to share here.

My 14-year-old swims competitively and she is very serious about her sport. She has five sectional cuts, but since she turned 14 last spring, she has been adding lots of time in her events (not a good thing for you non-swimming readers).

Her body changed from the body of a child to the body of a woman, as is the case for many 14-year-olds. With those changes came some problems with her strokes. She worked very hard all summer and early this fall to correct those problems. She NEVER EVER misses a practice — early morning, evening, late afternoon, weekend, holiday — she’s there. She doesn’t back off at practice either — according to her coaches and some of her teammates, she is one of the hardest workers in the pool. She does the dryland work that our swim club provides her, and she continues to compete in swim meets.

We attended a swim meet in Columbia, MO a few weeks ago at which she had hoped to come close to swimming her best times. It didn’t happen. She had big adds in her best events. Because she was feeling good about the progress she had made on her strokes, it was hard for her to experience this again. And because I’d heard some of the positive feedback regarding her stroke work, I also had higher expectations about what would happen this past weekend. So initially, I was was frustrated with the results, too.

But then I had some great conversations with other parents and with one of her coaches, and I have to say, I’m even more proud to be this young lady’s mother. The parents reassured me that this is so very normal. Many of them shared stories in which their own daughters went through the very same thing around the same age. I’d heard this, but it helps to hear it again and again. Not all swimmers go through this, but a lot of them do, and many of them add time in their best events for more than a year. I remember one young lady in our club going through this a few years ago. She had been a “young star”  and then all of a sudden, she was adding time at every meet. At the time, I remember admiring her perseverance and telling my daughter to make a mental note of her work ethic. Of course, I hoped against hope that it “wouldn’t happen to my kid,” but I guess my daughter DID make a mental note, becuase she is now doing exactly what that young lady did. And you know what? That swimmer is one of my daughter’s biggest supporters, joking with her, reminding her of the struggles she endured, encouraging her to keep working hard at practice even when it’s not the popular thing to do. And her parents are among those reassuring me on a regular basis. That helps a lot.

One of the coaches told me that the she’s doing everything she should be doing to pull through this minus one — she needs to readjust her expectations. He said that when she competes in her next meet, she should look to drop off of her times from the meet in Columbia — NOT to drop time off her BEST times. He said it may still be months before she is coming close to swimming her best times. I cannot tell you how much that simple thing helped us. He also said as her parents, our job is to NOT get frustrated with her, but to support her.

He said part of supporting her includes never questioning the program she is following in front of her because she needs for us to believe in what she’s doing and in her coaches as much as she does. We aren’t the kind of parents who question the program. I know there are parents who jump ship to another club the minute their kids start struggling, blaming the coaches or some aspect of the training program for the issue. That’s not us. But it was good to be reminded of this so that we can talk to her about how MUCH we believe in her coaches and in her training program.

So, we just had another meet this weekend, and we did the whole “adjusted expectations” thing. It was so liberating. And you know what — she DID drop from almost all the times she swam in Columbia. She didn’t hit any of her best times — the closest she came was 3 seconds in her 200 free. But she left the meet feeling successful. Her coaches told her that her strokes are back to looking like they should. Now, she just needs to work on doing them faster.

So, if you’re the parent of a swimmer who is going through this, I hope you have coaches who are as wise as our coaches and as willing to comfort and reassure parents. If you don’t, maybe this post will help you support your swimmer through his or her trials.

Simple Diamond Necklace Makes for a Perfect Gift

I was born in April, so my birthstone is a diamond. I received my first diamond from my parents in the form of a ring given to me at Christmas when I was a teen. My teenage daughter’s birthstone is a diamond, too, and I passed that very ring onto her a few years ago at Christmas.

This year, she’s going to get her first diamond necklace as a gift (Sssh! She never reads this blog, so don’t tell her). It’s a beautiful, elegant yet simple-enough diamond necklace from Kranich Jewelers Everlon Jewelry collection. Specifically, she’ll be receiving the Everlon Diamond Knot necklace in sterling silver.

I love the simplicity of the Everlon Jewelry from Kranich’s Jewelers.  It’s elegant, but isn’t “too much” to wear with jeans and a sweater, which is about as dressed up as my teen ever seems to get. In fact, it’s often as dressed up as I seem to get these days, so I may have to borrow her necklace from time to time. (Hint hint, dear hubby).

Need to Rant! And then forgive.

I need to rant. And ranting on Facebook isn’t safe — too many friends of friends of friends, etc.

As a Christian, I’m trying to “love my neighbor” and “love my enemy.” God forgives me and I need to forgive other people, too. But it is SOOOO hard.

So I need to rant. Because some people continue to be complete dolts!

Here’s my rant:

If you are an adult — act like one. If you are an adult, don’t spew your stupid poison AT kids. Don’t spew your stupid poison TO kids in hopes that your stupid poison is passed along by those kids to the kids you don’t like or to the parents you don’t like.  If you are an adult, don’t disguise your stupid poison as a compliment to someone, or respect for someone or concern for someone else. Everyone can see through that.  Don’t say your mean words through kids, or through gossip or constant complaining to others who are, frankly, immensely tired of hearing it or are amused by your immaturity.

If you’re not an adult, then keep acting like the juvenile that you are. You are only hurting yourself. Maybe someday you’ll grow up.

There — I feel better. I can and do forgive.  I can choose not to react to this stupid poison. I can choose not to act like you. I can choose not to talk about you and spew poison about you. I can choose to be NICE to you. And I can choose to let it go.

Join the Circus — Get Discounted Tickets!

The Greatest Show on Earth is on the road and is stopping in St. Louis Oct. 15-18 at the Scottrade Center.

This year, Ringling Bros and Barnum & Bailey® Circus live performances provide edge-of-your-seat entertainment for the young and young at heart. And they’re giving you the chance to just about “join” the circus by providing an All-Access Pre-Show, which begins an hour before the show starts live on the circus floor. Your kids will have the chance to meet the performers, try on costumes, and get close and personal with the circus! The All-Access Pre-Show is FREE to all ticket holders and is a must see!

• Offer #1: Get 4 tickets for just $44 by entering the code “MOM” at select ticketing channels. Offer good on all weekday performances, which includes all weekday evening and Friday matinee performances; minimum purchase of 4 tickets required; additional tickets can be purchased at $11 each.
• Offer #2: All weekend performance tickets will be $4 off the original price.
• Offer #3: Get the best Circus Celebrity, Front Row and VIP seats available – There are reserved seats in these sections just for you! Enter the code MOM. No discounts available on these sections.

MTV VMA’s Provide Teachable Moments

I don’t think it’s often that the MTV Video Music Awards provide a teachable moment (except to tell your daughters what NOT to wear). But last night was a real exception, as it provided not ONE but TWO teachable moments (in addition to the fashion thing).

In case you didn’t watch — here’s a brief summary of what happened, or you can watch the video below. Taylor Swift won Best Female Video instead of Beyonce. When the very young country music singer was trying to say her thanks, Kanye West jumped on stage, took the mic said he thought Beyonce had the best music video of all time. When the camera panned to Beyonce, she looked embarrassed. Poor Swift was speechless and despite the audience booing West and trying to cheer her on, she left the stage without uttering another word.

All of us Mom’s have had to try to comfort our children when someone else achieves something they wanted for themselves. We’ve had to have conversations with them about good sportsmanship. On the flip side, we may have had to try to help them cope with the ugly behavior of someone who may be jealous of their own achievements. The awful, pathetic and selfish outburst by Kanye West last night on the VMA’s gave me a chance to say to my kids, “See how ugly that appears. Jealousy and poor sportsmanship happen everywhere, and it’s just as unattractive on a national stage as it is at a swim meet or football game or on a golf course.”

Then a little later in the program, Beyonce won the final award for the night. When she took the mic, she briefly talked of how she felt when she was a teen and won her first VMA award. So, she called Taylor Swift back on stage and gave the mic to her. She “made right” by what her ill-behaving supporter Kanye West had done to Swift. Teachable Moment No. 2.

I know a few of Beyonce’s songs and I know she can dance like nobody’s business. Now, I also know she is a class act. Somebody raised her right.

Let’s Do Spelling Tests, Not Obama Politics in School

UPDATED 9/4/09 2:45 P.M. (see below)

Next Tuesday, President Obama plans to use part of the school day to address our nation’s children via a “Back to School” message. According to the White House, the purpose of this message will be to challenge students to work hard, set goals and take responsibility for learning.  But like a lot of conservatives, I suspect the speech has a much more pointed agenda — like indoctrinating our children to his socialist way of thinking.

Perhaps my cynicism about the speech stems from the “shared responsibility and commitment” language. Perhaps it comes from the fact that he’s trying to socialize our health care. Perhaps I’m just paranoid. Regardless, I prefer to do the teaching about politics and shared responsibility. I’d like my kids to stick to the basic academic subjects at school, like spelling tests.

The White House is encouraging school districts across the nation to take the time to watch the speech, and have even thoughtfully provided activities and questions to use after the speech. Check out the Menu of Classroom Activities for Pre-K through 6th Grade.  Here are some of the questions:

What is the president trying to tell me? What is the president asking me to do?
What new ideas and actions is the president challenging me to think about?  What specific job is he asking me to do? Is he asking anything of anyone else? Teachers? Principals? Parents? The American people?

He’s asking us to rubber-stamp his ideas on health care, banking, Wall Street, taxes, foreign policy and the environment. And he’s brilliant because he’s trying to get our kids on board. We need to be smarter.

I haven’t heard whether my school district will be taking the time to watch this speech. If it does, my son will be going out to lunch with me during that time. Perhaps we’ll practice his spelling.

————

Apparently, the White House is back-tracking a little bit on the President’s plan to request help from students. Check out this article.

Also, I contacted my son’s school principal and here is part of her response regarding whether the President’s address will be shown to students:

“As a district there is no district wide expectation that we are expecting all teachers to have students view this broadcast in their classrooms.  If a teacher feels it is appropriate for their class and curricular objectives, they may have student watch the broadcast although at (school name removed) we have agreed that we would tape it first and preview the contents prior to a class showing.  We recognize that there is historical value since this is the first time a President has publically addressed students.  As with all external resources to our curriculum, teachers should decide how participation and use of the source contributes to the learning and achievement of our curriculum objectives according to Board Policy.  The RSD curriculum is objective, non-partisan and non-sectarian.  We do not endorse candidates, platforms, or parties.  RSD does respect the office of the Presidency and the President’s position of the leader of the nation.  All teachers have been asked to consider the curriculum, knowledge, maturity, and competence of the class when making a decision about the use of controversial issues as this address may be considered by many.  Teachers at (school name removed) will offer alternate activities if they do determine this is a good resource and connects to their grade level curriculum.  Teachers will also inform parents in advance of their decision to view this address.”

No More Spelling Tests?!

I attended curriculum night at my son’s elementary school last week and was surprised and alarmed to hear his teacher’s answer to a parent’s question about spelling tests.

Parent: “What day will the spelling tests be?”

Teacher: “We won’t be doing spelling tests. Rockwood has mandated that spelling tests be eliminated by next year, and many teachers are opting to phase them out this year.”

What!!!??

The teacher went on to explain that:

• Spelling will be graded and assessed as part of the students’ everyday work.
• Many students simply memorize the words for the spelling test, but continue to spell the very same words incorrectly on everyday written work.
• Rockwood has research to indicate that weekly spelling tests do not improve students’ spelling mastery skills (or something to that effect).

As I looked around the room, these are the reactions I interpreted from the looks on the faces of other parents:

• Many were surprised, like me, and hadn’t heard this information.
• Many were displeased, like me.
• Some were nodding in agreement.
• Some smirked. I’m not sure whether they were smirking because they were thinking, “This is so typical” or “I knew it” or “This is yet another example of the dumbing down of America” or something else. I have yet to master mind-reading, I guess.

When I got home, I fired off an email to the Associate Superintendent for School Leadership and Curriculum for the Rockwood School District, Dr. Scott Spurgeon, inquiring about the mandated elimination of spelling tests. Within 24 hours, I received an informative email from Kathy Ryan,  Curriculum Coordinator, Language Arts K-12. (Note: this is one of the many things I love about our school district — administrators are not only accessible, but they respond quickly to parent inquiries.)

Ms. Ryan shared the following information with me:

1. The Rockwood Curriculum states that assessment of spelling should take place primarily through each student’s writing.
2. Weekly tests are not required.
3. In order to be consistent in all buildings and for all children, the district has determined that spelling pre- and post-tests will be discontinued during the 2010-2011 school year.
4. Research on writing asserts that students need more time for authentic writing tasks, and spelling pre- and post-tests take nearly an hour of instructional time each week.
5. Dozens of elementary teachers field-tested this approach during the last school year and found that spelling ability did not diminish, but student willingness to check for spelling errors in all tasks increased.
6. Beginning in the 2010-2011 school year, teachers will give a spelling inventory test at the beginning and end of each year to identify strengths and weaknesses so instruction can be designed to meet student needs.

“We believe that this change in spelling assessment practices will allow students more time to study words and more time to develop spelling through writing,” Ms. Ryan wrote.

Ms. Ryan also shared with me some of the research upon which this decision was based. I won’t quote all of it now, but I will say it looks solid. If you would like to see this document, email me and I’ll forward you a copy.

HOWEVER, I’m still bothered by the idea of no spelling tests. Spelling tests have worked for decades. They’re part of the BASICS! I think the new approach of assessing spelling in daily writing is a great idea. In a school district with high standards like Rockwood, a student should not be able to get an A on his/her weekly spelling tests, only to then misspell the same words in daily writing assignments. But I don’t think the time required for weekly spelling tests is wasted time. According to the “spelling letter” that was shared with parents, weekly spelling pre- and post-tests take about 40-50 minutes and that time can be put to better use for writing instruction and practice. Seriously? I’ll bet with a little effort, we could identify 40-50 minutes in the elementary school’s weekly schedule that could be used for those spelling tests without taking away from writing instruction or practice — i.e. extra recesses, assemblies to motivate for fund-raisers, “Pickle-puppet” sessions that cover topics probably best addressed at home.

Don’t get me wrong. I love my school district and I’m very impressed with the assessments on standardized tests and the ACT and SAT. I’m a huge fan of my son’s elementary school and believe the teachers and the principal there are doing an amazing job educating our students. Plus, I’m sure the district had multiple “committee/parent” meetings before making this decision, and I somehow missed the process while staying busy in my duties as a mom, part-time writer, etc. But I am alarmed by the trend away from some of the more basic learning techniques that have worked for so long. Don’t even get me started on the way my son is taught to add, subtract, multiply and do long division. That’s a whole other post.

At the very minimum, a weekly spelling test requires these elementary students to practice the skill of studying and memorization. I know that memorization isn’t the best learning technique or skill in most cases or in most subjects. I also acknowledge that learning spelling patterns and principles is vitally important and probably more effective in creating life-long good spellers and solid writers. However, memorization IS a skill and learning technique that we all use everyday. And studying for a weekly test IS a valuable practice. I vote that we bring back weekly spelling tests, and when I mentioned this last week on Facebook, it seems there were lots of other parents who felt the same way. What are your thoughts on the topic?

Don’t Text While Driving

A friend sent me a link to this video, which is pretty graphic. But I’m glad I watched it. I am vowing NOT to text and drive. I’ve shared it with my teen and I’m asking her to share it with her friends.

You can read more about the making of this video and statistics about texting and driving here.